Marriage Is Not Easy

In full disclosure, I am not a medical professional. The information in this blog is for general purposes and does not replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult your healthcare provider for any medical advice and potential treatment options. 

With that in mind, let’s explore marriage further. 

We all have our own definition of marriage based on culture, surroundings, upbringing, traditions, influences, roots, social norms, values, identity, and more.  

Per Google (the short version), “Marriage is a legally and culturally recognized union between two individuals, referred to as spouses, establishing rights, obligations, and social status for couples.” 

****Thirty-five years ago, my version and understanding of marriage was finding a provider, a good-looking man whom I loved and who loved me in return. Together, we would have attractive and intelligent children. 

My values today have grown deeper. I need trust, communication, support, bonding, relating, respecting, building, sharing, and evolving. 

Open communication and understanding that neither partner is perfect are key. Recognize what you can accept and cannot tolerate, and set the tone in the marriage as soon as possible. 

The beginning of my marriage was not the typical honeymoon phase (my marriage was like the song “It Was Pain Before Pleasure”). It was filled with challenges and trials that required considerable effort, perseverance, and understanding. There were several instances where both of us considered divorce. Fortunately, those struggles, hardships, moments of discomfort, the choice to never give up, and experiences laid the foundation for a healthy and rewarding Marriage today. 

My husband’s grandmother was a significant influencer, supporter, and mentor who assisted me through the hard times. She would tell me to hang in. She saw what I could not have seen at the moment. 

Today (speaking from experience), many marriages need an older, more experienced, independent, married, or divorced non-biased woman for understanding and support. Not persons to throw negative darts, secretly wanting the marriage to fail, meaning having someone who is not engaging in sneaky behavior as wanting the relationship to fail.  

Studies have examined how individuals who compare their marriages to others appear to harbor negative feelings if they perceive the other marriage as more successful. A study entitled Malicious Envy and Marital Satisfaction explores the relationship between envy and relationship dynamics. 

Couples marry for several reasons based on individual influences, unique circumstances, values, and goals. A few examples are as follows: 

Love and Affection: choosing a partner based on emotional connection, being in love and wanting to commit to one another, having romantic feelings and a genuine bond of sharing a life of true love, and not what others expect.  

Companionship: being present and emotionally available, offering encouragement through good and bad times, having conversations and laughter, and being engaged in each other’s lives.  

Pregnancy could be a reason for marriage.  

Social Pressure: family expectations, cultural or religious beliefs, friends getting married. 

Emotional Security: feeling safe, trusted, and stable in being your true self and knowing you are accepted. 

• According to a 2025 personal survey, men look for a few of the following qualities in a partner: 

Emotional connection, commitment, partnership, growth, stability, family, shared interests, and goals. 

• According to a 2025 personal survey, women look for the following qualities in a partner: 

Partnership, equality, emotional connection, self-fulfillment, family, compatibility, independence, realistic expectations, and support. 

Marriage is a lifelong journey built on commitment, negotiation, and understanding to reach a lifetime-lasting relationship. 

The following are examples of Navigating the Tiers of Marriage from my experiences and having conversations with others: 

Understanding that marriage goes through various stages, and no single stage lasts forever, is key. There are both good and bad times, and remembering challenges leads to growth and joy. 

Prioritizing the relationship is needed since circumstances constantly change. Transparency and open and honest communication are vital as both individuals continue to grow and evolve over time. 

Being flexible to obtain a balanced and satisfying Marriage: 

• Engaging in difficult communication about feelings, needs, and concerns. 

• Be willing to listen and hear what is being said, whether you agree or not, without being defensive. 

• Learning to find a middle ground on issues because each has different opinions or preferences. 

• Knowing life is full of unpredictability and charges. Learning to adjust may mean changing roles or responsibilities during challenging times.  

• Learning to support each other’s goals and aspirations. 

• Being willing to express emotions and be vulnerable helps create trust and mutual understanding.  

Sharing household responsibilities encourages teamwork and shared ownership of the relationship.  

Scheduling time together and allowing each other space to pursue individual interests. 

Opening up the mindset to approach conflict to resolve issues rather than trying to win the argument.  

Knowing marriage requires patience, effort, mutual understanding, communication, and commitment. It also requires the support of older generations. When both partners choose to grow together through the challenges, the bond that is built is deeper, stronger, rewarding, and truly worth it. 

The information provided in this blog is for general informational purposes only and not intended to be professional advice.  

DEVELOP, LOVE, GROW, BE RESPECTFUL TO YOURSELF, ENCOURAGE, AND SUPPORT OTHERS BEST 2025.