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In full disclosure, I am not a medical professional. The information in this blog is for general purposes and does not replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult your healthcare provider for any medical advice and potential treatment options.
With that in mind, let’s explore Self-Compassion with the Inner Self.
For many years, I was shy, nervous, and not certain of how to be myself, so I became whoever I could, just because. I didn’t know how to practice self-compassion and I wasn’t having kind inner conversations with myself.
The strangest thing is I had so much love and support from my grandmother, grandfather and aunts. Yet, I had daily inner conversations about not being smart enough, feeling stupid, worthless, as if I couldn’t do this or that, and I would be a failure, and everyone else was better than me.
My inner conversations led me to rebel and become defiant, and I did not break the cycle until sometime in my college years.
I interviewed several people, and nine out of ten did not understand the concept of mental self-compassion or having kind, supportive inner conversations with oneself.
Take a moment and think about the conversations you have had with yourself within the past hour.
The most common recurring thoughts people shared about their inner conversations were not feeling attractive, being overweight, struggling with debt, facing job issues or unemployment, worrying, fantasizing, rehearsing, and feeling depressed or worthless.
Men, however, spoke to themselves of feeling they should be further along in life, and it didn’t matter their current accomplishments. They wished their swag was better; they wanted to be stronger, have a better career, drive a nicer car, and earn more money, and felt they had to handle everything on their own.
According to my research, we have between 6,000 and 70,000 thoughts per day, and most are repetitive and consist of negative inner dialogues, which is why developing self-compassionate inner conversations is so powerful. How much better would our lives be if we learn to change the inner dialogue?
Despite the harsh inner dialogue, we often have with ourselves, we still manage to treat others with kindness and compassion, yet we FAIL to extend that same kindness to ourselves.
If I said out loud to you what you say to yourself internally, you would never want to speak with me again. Think about how many times someone said something hurtful and you chose to cut them off, yet you tolerate the same negativity from your own inner voice every day.
Let’s learn how to shift the constant nonstop stream of negative thoughts that run through the mind each day.
Become aware of the thoughts- HOW, pay attention to when the self-talk occurs, then immediately change the thought BECAUSE WE CAN’T CHANGE WHAT WE DON’T NOTICE.
How to become aware?
For example, say a negative thought pops up, like what if my partner is hiding something? – pause, and replace it with a more supportive belief like, I trust that this relationship is healthy and will work out. Continue repeating the positive statement throughout the day to help rewire the thinking.
Another example, instead of thinking, “I can’t land a break,” Change the thought to ‘wow ‘- this day is full of opportunities, and mine is right in front of me. I only have to catch it.
Instead of the inner thought of not getting your health together, reframe by saying, Today, I will do just one thing to improve my health. Repeat the intention throughout the day to stay focused and encouraged.
Learning self-compassion and speaking kindly to the inner self is not an easy process, but consistently replacing negative thoughts with positive ones can be powerful over time, especially with growth.
EVERY DAY IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE GROWING AND MOVING CLOSER TO YOUR GOALS.
1. Limit social media use – not by putting it down completely, but by setting boundaries. Why? To focus on your own progress and celebrate your achievements instead of watching others and comparing yourself. Social media can influence daily thoughts and may hinder the development of the inner self-compassion that you need.
Please focus on the good in your life instead of comparing yourself to others. Once you do this, you will discover that you have much to celebrate.
2. Create your own life by developing self-compassion. Practice speaking to yourself kindly, acknowledging your efforts, and recognizing that everyone has flaws and struggles.
What boosts your confidence?
What gives you inner peace?
What is your interest? Negative shows or fun shows?
Where do you grow?
Know and accept the following:
A. It is okay to make mistakes. Learn and grow from every experience.
B. TREAT YOURSELF WITH THE SAME KINDNESS AS YOU OFFER OTHERS.
C. Accept that you are worthy of love, care, and understanding from yourself.
D. Accept your struggles, and know the struggles do not define you. Only you can choose to create and define your own life.
E. Give yourself permission to be who you are today and allow room for growth.
F. SPEAK TO YOURSELF DAILY GENTLY, WITH HONOR AND ENCOURAGEMENT INSTEAD OF JUDGMENT.
G. Know that there is always someone else who is experiencing some of what you are.
FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR ALL AND KEEP IT MOVING TO DEVELOP SELF-COMPASSION.
DEVELOP, LOVE, GROW, BE RESPECTFUL TO YOURSELF, ENCOURAGE, AND SUPPORT OTHERS BEST 2025.
As always, how will you rise? I am here and listening.