I was at an event discussing life issues when someone ask me “why do women in leadership roles work so hard to get there and then demean women with less power?” After a moment of thinking, I thought about different conversations I have had over the years with other women who felt the same. As I always say, I am not an expert but have knowledge on the subject and this is my take.Some women do not have the self-confidence that starts from within to bring out the exceptional skills of the employees because they do not feel good enough. Some women feel they have to continue proving themselves to be accepted. Some women feel they have to express little feeling or emotion to be taken seriously. Some women mislead others to get the power position and feel the need to continue to do so. Some women cannot influence other women and use their power to intimidate. I did an anonymous survey asking females if they prefer female bosses or male bosses and why. The results were staggering which I will not share at this time because I want to engage my audience and note the similarities.
A few tips to handling difficult female bosses as of now and more to come once the conversation starts:
- Knowing yourself will allow you to walk with grace and accept that your boss’s issues are not yours to fix.
- You will absolutely attract what you place your energy on; therefore, place your energy on self-growth and not the bosses perspective of you.
- Remove the focus from the negativity you believe the boss is projecting upon you.
- The only way anyone can make you feel less than who you are is because you feel that way – DON’T ALLOW IT!
- Review the past blogs and use the mirror to believe in you and KNOW you are not beneath ANYONE, and you have the power over your life.
How will you rise? I am here and listening!
I worked under a male boss as a Office Manager for the first eight (8) years and then I was promoted to Regional Manager for the next twelve years. He was the CEO of the company and we had a great professional relation. Then, he hired his wife and immediately I notice a power move on her behalf, she started doing and saying things that was not warrant.
I called a meeting with her to assure her that there was no need for it but it continually got worst. I was stressed and ill all the time hating to go to a job that I had enjoyed for so many years.
I spoke to the CEO which was the owner, who I worked directly under, about the situation. He thanked me for my patience with her and said he would speak to her about it. And I gave him a few suggestions that I thought would help, but she was to intimidated by my knowledge of the company. So for three years I dealt with it, sadly to say I am no longer under the stress but I am much healthier and happier.
As a female boss I was confident in my position and myself that I encouraged my managers to be the best. I never once disrespected one of them, if there was a problem I went to them professionally we discussed and resolve the issue and went back to work.
Some women can not handle having power. But the female bosses that understand that position does not mean DISRESPECT they are awesome to work for. Why ridicule and make your staff feel insignificant only to end up with a high turnover and a hostile work environment.
Thank you for your awesome comment. You covered being a female boss , working under a female boss as well as a male boss. GREAT way to get the conversation started.
I also worked for one phenomenal female boss (Tammy Cromer). I use her name because sadly she is no longer with us. The following is what made her an incredible boss:
*She knew her job well*
*She liked and loved herself*
*She was confident and treated everyone with respect*
*She tried to be fair when dealing with employees and job-related issues*
Her mission was solely for the companies growth and not a tug a war with her employees. She had a saying after each meeting, “there is no way around personal problems, we all have them, so leave them at the front door when arriving to work and pick the problems up at the end of the day and her door was open for any personal problems that couldn’t wait until the end of the day”.
As I always say, I am not an expert but have opinions from life, meetings and speaking as my audience and we are walking the road together. He is my take on your situation.
First, you were in a unique situation because (a) your ex- bosses wife was not a part of the organization from the beginning (b) she was hired years later (c) your ex-boss did not understand the dynamic of his wife’s influence, behavior, actions and changes that would have affected the company (not sure if the positive vs. the negative were thoroughly considered).
It would not have mattered the profits you brought into the company because the wife’s energy was on feeling relevant, valued, respected and in control. It would not have mattered the transparency you demonstrated or how you encouraged others with developing their knowledge and skills to grow the company financially because she needed to find her identity. Unfortunately, it is difficult for any of us to take responsibility for our actions and not play the blame game . We are in CONTROL of our lives and no one else!
I am happy you feel good about yourself, your choices and accomplishments.
Your situation was a learning opportunity. You could look into using your female management skills to encourage and enlighten organizations the importance of having confident, positive female bosses who’s focus is on growing the company and not battling with employees.
How will you rise? I am hear and listening!