Just this week, I saw a girl in the store with a bonnet on her head, and I asked myself why would she leave home looking cray.
I was sitting in the sauna, and a lady came in with a fruit bag and juice, and I looked at her as if she had lost her mind, asking myself why are you eating in the sauna?
How did I check myself on judging? I tried to understand both strangers and asked myself, why pass judgment on either of the persons because neither of them knew to do differently? Stopping to ask why we are doing what we are doing helps us to become mindful of the situation.
What is judging?
Per Oxford Dictionary, “form an opinion or conclusion about, decide (a case) in court.”
Per Webster’s Dictionary, “to form an opinion about through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises.: to form an estimate or evaluation of.”
A judge gives a verdict, and if we are not a judge, let’s wait to size up others so quickly. Per Oxford, to form a judgment about somebody/something or a situation quickly.”
Now that we understand the differences between a judge and judging, why do we judge ourselves and others?
Could it be because we are unhappy or unsatisfied with our own life; therefore, we pay attention to others to find fault to put the person down so we can feel superior or better about ourselves? Or are we missing something from within?
We are our worst critics and have mind conversations about past experiences, good or bad, and once we feel unable to manage our lives, we judge others.
There is positive and negative judging.
What is positive? Per Webster, “having a good effect.”
- Add positivity before judging to generate greatness in someone. To elevate and release incredible energy to someone by giving sincere compliments to enhance or improve their feelings.
What is negative? Per Webster, “something that is the opposite, drawback, an expression, denial, ‘no.'”
- Add negative before judging, and your past hurtful situations held inside will come out of the stored bottle and released onto others.
“Seeing the glass half empty rather than complete.”
The words that leave the mouth will reenter life in some form. Making negative comments can be controlled by,
- Taking a second to think first.
- Give support and speak positively of others, even those who do not treat us so well.
We have always heard what we give comes back, which is true because we are responsible for our own lives.
We have to change to see the change by modifying the words released from our mouths and the action we take.
To see any change, as we have always heard, we have to be the change by changing the words from our mouths and the actions we take.
Allowing others to mistreat or cause us pain leads to a loss of power, and judging kicks in.
Here are a few steps to begin working on judging:
- Become an independent thinker to develop your thoughts of a person or situation.
- Eliminate the self-war by letting go of the past pain, and instead of focusing on what you do not like about yourself or your life, become mindful of the body’s feelings, recognize the negative emotions, and LET GO.
- Accept the greatness from within and not view others as a threat.
- Build someone up daily and not tear anyone down to feel superior.
- Pay attention to none truthful stories told about others to gain support from another.
- Always find something good instead of expressing disapproval of others and believing you are better.
A few words to be mindful of using:
Arrogant, snobby, egocentric, self-centered, stuck-up, and vain to name a few.
And as always, I am here and listening. Thanks for tuning in to my blog.