Fearful

REMEMBER I AM NOT A THERAPIST. I AM ONLY SHARING MY THOUGHTS.

Fear is,

Per Webster, an unpleasant, often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger

(an instance of this emotion).

Per Google, an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.

A feeling of anxiety concerning the outcome of something or the safety of someone.

What do anxiety, panic, and apprehensive have in common with fear? Each is associated with emotions that relate to feelings of unease, worry, and threat.

The emotion of anxiety could be associated with genetics, jobs, breakups, financial difficulties, abuse, all streaming from the environment.

The emotion of panic could come from high-stress levels and could be intense with a rapid heartbeat, sweating, trembling, shaking, and shortness of breath, to name a few.

The apprehensive comes from uncertainty, such as meeting deadlines, interviews, significant events, or worrying about an outcome.

Understanding the emotions attached to fear will help us manage life more effectively.

There are several types of fears, and I will cover a few which keep us from pushing forward.

The fear of:

• Being rejected, judged, criticized, failing, or afraid of someone or something.
• Achieving goals.
• Speaking in front of large crowds, attending parties, gatherings, or heights.
• Facing life situations, financial difficulties, job loss, sickness, and more.

Fear will keep us from our dreams, accomplishments, and fulfilling lives.

I spoke with a young lady who permitted me to use her story of fear without using her name.

She has been in a relationship for ten years, and they have two kids together. She loves her partner but is unsure if he has the same love for her. She feels he loves her, but not enough to stop cheating on her.

He does not know she knows about the other relationship he has been in for three years or his other affairs. She has not confronted him because she fears him leaving her for one of the other women. She understands it is all about her insecurities, vulnerabilities, and weakness to leave.

• She is afraid of being alone even though she has her children.
• She fears living in an apartment and does not want to leave her home.
• She fears moving the kids into an apartment because she does not earn enough income to continue her children’s lifestyle (soccer, basketball, baseball, and gymnastics).

She fears disrupting everyone’s lives, especially the kids, because she does not want them visiting their parents in two different environments.

As a mentor, she and I created the following plan:

• She is seeking ways to create financial independence.
• Helping her to believe she deserves to be treated with respect and dignity.
• Getting emotional support.
• Creating a safety plan once she leaves, never to go back.
• Organizing her essential documents and paperwork.
• Searching for support groups.

The above is a start for her, and we created a three-month and six-month review to make two changes by the end of the eight-month.

A few steps to overcome other fears:

Pay attention to the emotion when the feeling of fear materializes.

• Accept that moment and acknowledge the feeling.
• Be kind to yourself by avoiding negative self-talk.
• Face the anxiety by taking small steps, setting achievable goals, and building self-confidence.
• Use the negative experience as an opportunity to grow by redefining the situation to seize the opportunity.
• Focus, visualize, and manifest the positive outcome and know handling fear is a process.
• Continue small positive steps on each occurrence of fear, and always remember to be GRATEFUL for all.

It is important to remember that life will always happen, and learning the triggers will help us handle our many challenges. Being persistent and continuing to work through these fears and associated emotions will assist with pursuing your dreams.